


A Kill Without Contact

by KomaruNaegi



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, M/M, Puking Up Blood, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 23:23:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12221070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KomaruNaegi/pseuds/KomaruNaegi
Summary: Saihara's trying to pull himself out from the ashes.Shirogane drags him down back to hell.Major NDRV3 Spoilers.





	A Kill Without Contact

His eyes barely open, red and heavy of sleep. He can't focus on her, or the audience, or his friends. Hair, disheveled, body shaking. No words come to him, his thoughts eluded by fatigue.

 _Despair_ , he thinks, and he can feel himself falling. His self, the fake one he's been given, at least, is fading out of him and puddling underneath him in the floor. He feels he's been swallowed whole. Their faces are colorless, eyes listless. Death has pacted with them.

"Aww, is Saihara-kwun upset?" Shirogane murmurs, in a cutesy Junko voice, her eyes fake and blue and beautiful. She's huddled inside herself, and yet she's absolutely dazzling, her talent on full display.

"You're such a sad existence, Saihara-kun. It makes me wanna burry you alive and then kill myself..." a saddened Junko says, mushrooms inexplicably groving from her head.

"Hey hey, let's take a break then!" she announces, switching to Saionji. "Wanna watch a video?"

Of _course_ Saihara knows it's bad. Of _course_ he has doubts. But he's in too deep and he's sinking and the waves are crashing on him and he's got nowhere to go - face stained with snot and unwiped tears, death pushing him down into the black and blue darkness. He looks sick.

"Sure, Shirogane-san... S-Sure."

"Let's go!" Aoi Asahina yells, and a projector lowers itself behind her.

Sounds of a camera being picked up, adjusted, ring in his ears. It's likely something small - the quality's poor, the focus hazy. It appears to be set on a bedside table. Momota sits across it, on the bed, making a shot from the waist up.

"H-Hey, whoever gets to watch this. I'm hopin' it's on, 'cause I don't have much time at the moment..." he whispers. Uncomfortable, he sits back into the bed, curling his fingers over the edge to secure himself. The blanket's on the floor, discarded. The room's messy, but lived in.

"A-Anyway, somebody left this video camera outside my room... No idea who, and knowin' my luck, it's the mastermind, 'n they'll pop outta the lens and strike me dead, hehe..."

He's shaking and nervous. Saihara leans slightly over his podium.

"This video here is for a couple a friends of mine, particularly one named Saihara Shuuichi."

His body, limp and lifeless, perks up for a moment.

"If anyone ever finds this video, please try 'n send it his way... There's something I never quite had the courage to tell him, so I'm sayin' it now, behind a camera... Pretty cowardly comin' from me, huh?" Momota muses, his face met with a weak smile. He stifles a giggle.

"So, uh, how it went down is Ouma roped me into one of his plans or whatever to take down the one in charge of all this... I killed him. And the fact I did that is makin' me feel sick, but it's our last chance... So I'm hopin' everything's good by now, even if I ain't here to celebrate with ya."

Saihara can feel his eyes water. Why does he always do this? Why does he always cry at things like this? Even after all that training, he's the weakest person he knows.

"Harumaki, you doin' okay? I know you hated Ouma and all, but, his heart was in the good of it all at the end. Shady fucker..."

He pauses for a breath.

"Harumaki, you're stone and cold, so keep on training Shuuichi for me! I know someone like you's been trained into forgettin' your emotions and stuff, so make sure you take care of him for me. I know you can make it outta here with a smirk on your face."

Harukawa grips at her stand.

"So, um, Shuuichi..."

"Haha... Um..."

He starts scratching at his hair, rough and matted, feeling at his head.

"I'm actually really nervous about tellin' you this, even behind a camera. I've... Actually imagined saying this to ya quite a few times but... I never got the words out. I just... Couldn't convince myself I rolled that way or whatever."

_Rolled that way?_

"Listen. I'm jealous. Like, really jealous. You were able to pin Gonta down, an' I couldn't do it myself. Even when we all keep fallin' to Monokuma's traps, you're dependable and ya seek out the truth... And I guess there was some sorta heroism in you that I always envied, even from the start."

He feels his face contort. Receiving a compliment in the form of a memento mori... Albeit saddening, makes his spirits a bit lighter.

"And, uh, ya may've noticed, but I stared at you from time to time... Sorry about that. I never meant to look at you like that, but, the more we trained the more my heart felt all clogged up and shit and I knew that I couldn't stop myself, I had to ac-"

He pukes. Blood stains his clothes as he hacks and hacks and hacks, and Saihara feels himself shaking, wanting to go up to him and save him from whatever he has, but he can't. He's just pixels now.

" _Ehhhhguh_..." Momota groans, wiping his lips, and then his brow. "What I meant to say is... I... I-I..."

He takes a breath.

"I love you, Shuuichi."

Saihara's world shatters.

"I-I know that sounds like it's from left field, but after seein' you by my side all the time, believing in me an' Harumaki... I started falling for ya. I told myself I wasn't, beating myself up with a battering ram because guys don't fall in love with each other, and girls fall in love with men but... I guess I'm just a sad case, huh?"

Saihara hiccups. His voice is taught and words inaudible as he bends into himself, landing on his knees and crying into his lap, face red and tattered and so weak, so so weak.

"So, all these years from now, when ya come here with me in wherever hell I end up... Let's go look at the stars together, and do pushups like in the old days. You too, Harumaki! You're my assistants in this world and the next, okay?"

He goes up to the camera, smiles that warm, sunshine smile Saihara knows him for, and then shuts it off.

Saihara keeps on crying. Akamatsu and Momota mentally egg him on, telling him to die die _die_ , so that the class can be friends again, beyond the grave.

Saihara wilts. His leaves turn brown and his body shakes. He's fallen. Shirogane cackles.

Despair's won again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'll try to write something not Saimota next time.


End file.
